GWAR Recruit the Taliban to ‘Kill’ Joe Biden Onstage
As scumdog tradition dictates, GWAR must kill every president of the United States while they're in office. Due to the COVID pandemic, it’s taken GWAR a little longer than usual to take out Joe Biden, but they finally did it while touring the U.S. last month.
GWAR have killed every sitting president onstage since Ronald Reagan. But they didn’t stop there. The galaxy’s greatest metal band have taken the sword to Hillary Clinton, Al Gore, Nancy Reagan, John Kerry, John McCain, Mitt Romney, Sarah Palin and plenty of other bigwigs from all ends of the political spectrum. In an age of extreme division, GWAR remains a beacon of equality.
One fan caught GWAR’s execution of Biden from the front row at Riot Fest. The nation’s 46th president actually introduced the band, making a speech before thousands of fans at Douglas Park. “How you doin’? Hello! American people, it’s me, your president Ramblin’ Joe Biden. Believe it or not, I am your president,” the life-sized Biden stated.
“I know what you’re thinking. ‘Joe, what are you, a madman? Aren’t you afraid to go onstage with GWAR? They kill every president. Don’t worry, I’m not. I’ve had it from a good source that GWAR are Trump-hating libtards, and therefore, I have nothing to fear. I’ve had a very, very reproductive year in the White House. I’ve refilled the swamp and restored gas prices to pre-pandemic highs. I’d like to celebrate the unbearable success of our military victory in Afghanistan. The longest war in American history is finally over. To continue our policy of spreading American values like freedom, liberty, and equality throughout the world, we have teamed up with the Taliban.”
As a Taliban fighter wandered onto the stage, Biden shared what the Afghani people can expect in the coming months. “We can assure you that the Afghani people will be wearing bikinis, rollerblading and playing rock ’n’ roll in the streets.” The Taliban fighter didn’t like the sound of Biden’s promises, so he beheaded the president with a sword, allowing GWAR’s white-shirted fans to get covered in presidential blood.
Watch Joe Biden become the seventh sitting president to be killed by GWAR in the video below.