1998 will forever be memorable for a handful reasons, including the rise , the baby cooing on ‘s “Are You That Somebody?” and course for then-U.S. President Bill Clinton getting impeached for having an affair with his intern Lewinsky. While we may never know the identity that aforementioned toddler, or how X dropped two #1 albums in a year, Clinton is unveiling the real reason why he had those now-infamous encounters in the Oval Office a new documentary about his ride-or-die wife Hillary Clinton. 

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According to HollywoodLife, who got an early screening the upcoming Hulu doc simply titled Hillary, Bill spoke candidly about what made him risk it all for someone that literally almost costed him his presidency and marriage. “You feel like you’re staggering around,” he says  the woes  being leader the free world, further adding, “you’ve been in a 15 round prize fight that was extended to 30 rounds and here’s something that will take your mind f it for a while, that’s what happens.” That something, he says, got a bad rep for the whole ordeal and probably unjustly. Bill said Monica, “I feel terrible about the fact that Monica Lewinsky’s life was defined by it, unfairly I think,” also adding that “Over the years I’ve watched her trying to get a normal life back again, but you’ve got to decide how to define normal.”

Here’s what Bill Clinton also revealed about how he broke the news to Hillary, Hollywood Life:

“I went and sat on the bed and talked to her. I told her exactly what happened, when it happened. I said I feel terrible about it. We’ve been through quite a bit in the last few years. I said I have no defense, it’s inexcusable what I did.” 

Clinton was eventually acquitted his impeachment charges in 1999, but it still left a mark on his legacy and sparked an insane media frenzy at the time (seen above) that’s clearly still a headline-grabbing talking point over 20 years later. 

Expect the Hillary documentary to air on Hulu this Friday (March 6).