The  left many fans split on their feelings about the decision — many didn’t think the group could even continue without its lead member. The guys course eventually overcame that obstacle on their critically-acclaimed album Iridescence released a few months after Ameer’s exit, and Kevin Abstract being promoted to the forefront made for a surprising upgrade as well. However, the loss still affects the group to this day on a personal level, as Kev revealed to  recently during a very extensive interview for the GQ video series “Epic Conversations.” 

Scott Dudelson/Getty s for Coachella

Among the many things Kevin opened up about in his 40+ minute conversation with the legendary producer, his remorse for the way things ended with Ameer definitely stood out the most. Describing it as a moment that “fully f*cked me up,” Kev went on to explain that “fully cutting someone f in front people, the audience, is just a wild thing — something you think about every single day.” When asked by Rubin if he’d seen Ameer in the time since he was ousted due to , Kevin said, “We ran into each other somewhere and it was really quick,” adding that the brief encounter was “heartbreaking in a way.” While he admits to missing him, Abstract explains that he doesn’t regret kicking him out and only wishes that they had more time to talk things out. Given their long history as friends even before BROCKHAMPTON ficially achieved notoriety, we can totally understand the conflicted feelings here.

Watch Kevin Abstract’s “Epic Conversation” with Rick Rubin for GQ below in its entirety, with the topic on Ameer Vann’s split starting at the 34:00 mark: