Traumatic events can be a defining turning point in a person’s life, but the tragic death a parent can be earthshattering. Shyheim has been opening up about his successes and failures with VladTV now that he’s recently been released from prison after serving five years. The rapper was convicted second-degree manslaughter following the death a motorist during a car accident.  Shyheim is ready to share portions his life story that many people never learned about the Wu-Tang-affiliated artist.

In 2009, back when Shyheim was in his early thirties, the rapper’s mother lost her life after overdosing on heroin. “Losing a mom at 30, that’s pretty young. So then, I was really, really lost,” he said. ” Shyheim admitted that his life took a turn back in the 1990s, but the death his mother “added to the wounds and to the psychological trauma that was going on in my life.”

“You see your mom, the one that raised you on the floor gone,” Shyheim continued. “It does something to you. You’ll never be the same. I’ll never be the same as I was as that kid. From the trauma and the things that I went through.” He added, “The weird thing that] started the happen was] I would hear her voice clearly everything she ever told me. It’s just like, yo. What do you do? Where do you go from here?”

Shyheim said that there were people around him with the ability to change his life and remove him from troublesome situations, but didn’t. Check out his clip below where he also talks about learning how to be a good father.